Dull semi-PMS job-junk

A little bummed about my job. Mostly my own fault for dreaming up that such a small place could use me the way I wish they would. But then if you don't tell the guy how you like it, you shouldn't be surprised when he doesn't make your toes twich is how I'm taking it.

Unfortunately I've somehow pegged myself among people that are mostly my seniors as opposed to being peers- staging myself up at a disadvantage. I suppose there is still plenty of time to coax them in the right place before I get too aggravated and simply jump to something that has more clearly outlined room to grow.

My biggest problem is that I haven't wanted to go up to the boss-man and simply state, "Look, I am kind of getting tired of sitting here at ten bucks and not getting anywhere when I'm a really smart cookie. I don't mean to put us both on edge and give each other palpations, and I'd really love to keep this job, but I don't feel that you're helping me help you out."

I want a career, not just money. I like paying bills, and I'd like a home someday. I love my husband and to draw and play video games. Other stuff comes in to play, but it's small in comparison. These are the things I love to do and are my first priority. Unfortunately, things come in the way of that, mainly money and time obscurely being connected to a paycheck. I only put career in the mix because I've already bought a degree. I'm trying to make that work for me. I was hoping that's what would happen here at this job.

I'm pretty sure they can think of reasons not to immediately put me in, but I need to take responsiblity for this and it might get me there. Its hard reconciling which kind of pushy equals the kind that won't get you anywhere, the kind that gets you fired, and the kind that people see as being initiative and all that good schmazz. Also when your bosses actually take a physical hand to off-site jobs and functions it makes it hard to talk to them when they're trying to make a show happen.

Either way, I finally am sick of hearing people say they'll discuss me when or where- and it not happening. Its relieving to just not care so one can have the ease of getting on with their life. I'll either get in the office or I'll find a better paying job.

I wish I could get in touch with Amy Owenby, I see the announcement on Classmates that she got married to a Jeremy Joiner. I refuse to pay a website money just because they are jerks and want to dictate acess to old pal's numbers and emails because you fell out of touch for a bit. Ransom. Bite me. If Hugh Macleod can find someone, I can too. Whitepages dot com sucks. I wish I had just stayed home today.